


Love is Weakness

by RedSnow1



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Anger, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Murder, Denial, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Light Angst, Lilith needs a hug, Love/Hate, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Regrets, Revenge, Sad with a Happy Ending, Soft Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith/Zelda Spellman, Somebody hug Lilith, Whump, set during part 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:35:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27995376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedSnow1/pseuds/RedSnow1
Summary: She wasn’t the queen anymore. She was nothing. Whose fault was that?There was only one name in her mind.Sabrina./OS/
Relationships: Sabrina Spellman & Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Love is Weakness

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!
> 
> This is my first story for this fandom, but I've always been inspired by Lilith and Sabrina's relationship (which I think is underrated). I hope you will enjoy it.
> 
> This story was no betaed. Since I am French, you might find a few mistakes here and there, but I hope it won't be too many. Sorry, I try my best!
> 
> Many thanks to my dear friend @Persephonia1 who read my story and let me know what she thought about it, even though she doesn't know the show, thank you for your never ending support, and your care. Love you !
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment, leave a kudo, it's always appreciated! And let me know if you want more.  
> Happy reading!

A storm was raging outside of Greendale — much to her delight. It felt as if the weather was reflecting on her mood — both sappy, angry and yet quite reflexive. She enjoyed the smell of danger lingering in the air and the way the purple clouds hung above their heads, ready to strike. She couldn’t tell whether it was the rain or the thunder that made her dreamy — perhaps a bit of both? She smiled bitterly. Witching hour was upon them. Dangerous, wicked, filled with darkness. She sighed. Lilith was standing in front of the window, staring into the darkness of the night, thinking.

Thinking about her life. What it used to be. What it had become.

Thinking about what it should have been.

Trying to find someone to blame because it was easier than reflecting on her own mistakes. Where had it all gone wrong? 

She was furious, spiteful.

She should have been in Hell, sitting on the throne, hearing the coven’s prayers, draped in silk and jewels. She should have been ruling the underworld with an iron fist — as Lucifer had promised — instead of brooding in this room. Lilith quickly glanced around. An abandoned house she had found, since Mary Wardwell had sold her out to the Devil. That was the best she could do. It was damp, disgusting. She was cold and tired. And tomorrow… Tomorrow, she would have to go back to Hell and see her master sit on the throne he promised her. Tomorrow, she would have to stand proud and pretend that she was not bothered while her mind was screaming in agony, too wounded to repair itself. Her hand came to rest on top of her stomach, where the spawn of Satan was slowly growing inside of her. A wave of nausea hit her as a disgusted wince drew itself on her red lips. She hadn’t wanted this. Any of it. But she didn’t have a choice. This baby relied on her as much as she relied on him. He was her only way of surviving this war — just a little while longer. A few months, and Lucifer would snap her neck and end her pitiful life once and for all, while Sabrina ruled by his side. Lilith’s hand clenched into a fist. She wasn’t the queen anymore. She was nothing. Whose fault was that?

There was only one name in her mind.

_Sabrina._

That infuriating young girl. The rightful heir of the Morningstar. 

Yes, her misery was Sabrina’s fault. Hadn’t she been born, none of this would have happened. Hadn’t she been born, she would have reigned by Lucifer’s side for eternity, where her rightful place was. She wouldn’t have had to stay in the mortal world for so long, babysitting a reckless child and putting up with her teenage drama and strange family.

It was Sabrina who had stolen her throne, her place into the Dark Lord’s heart.

Sabrina who constantly threw herself in difficult positions — from which she had to save her. Of course she had to. Because it was the Dark Lord’s will and her body belonged to him. 

_What a weak, pathetic excuse._

Sabrina’s words echoed in her mind, cold, powerful. And that memory lingered, stung, and left nothing but a bitter taste in her mouth. Lilith felt her anger inside her bones, muscles, a tsunami of feelings she had buried within her. What for ? To protect Sabrina? The Heaven with it. She was sick and tired of being a pawn in the Devil’s chess game. She wanted more. She was owed so much more. And if no one was willing to give her what she deserved… well… She would have to get it for herself. Lilith was fuming, pacing to and fro. It was all too much. Rage was boiling inside her veins. She would have screamed and burnt everything but she knew it wouldn’t have changed anything. The first woman knew there was only one solution to her problem : getting rid of the pest. Yes, revenge. Finally something she was good at. 

Lilith didn’t bother taking a coat, or covering herself. She was still wearing a nightgown and she didn’t care. She magicked herself out of the room. She didn’t think about it much and acted on a whim. She appeared directly inside the young woman's bedroom, dark, peaceful. Lilith had been here before, on countless occasions, but today… 

Today, she was getting revenge. Today, she was winning.

She found Sabrina Spellman sleeping soundly in her bed, just as she was supposed to. It was late after all, and with all the misfortune she had faced recently, she needed a good rest. And Lilith watched her. The rise and the fall of her chest, her parted lips, the way her white hair was spread on her pillow. She had inherited her father’s dashing charisma — even in her sleep, the young girl radiated with beauty. Salem was curled up by her side, a ball of dark fur that was no threat to her. Lilith slowly made her way to the bed, a wicked smirk painted on her lips.

Easy. It would be so easy. All she had to do was cast a simple spell, and the threat would be gone. But maybe it was too quick, too tidy. Lilith did like a bit of a mess from time to time. She could use her pillow — How she would love to see her fight back against her grip, hear her mumbled screams until her limbs fell on the bed. Or she could conjure a knife, and slit that pretty throat of hers. Watch the blood drip on her sheets, her wide eyes staring at her, shocked, perhaps, by her betrayal. Or maybe she would smile — Maybe she would have expected it. After all, they had a complicated relationship, didn’t they?

She wanted to make her suffer for what she had done. For stealing her place. For getting everything she had worked for. Everything she was owed.

She wanted to see her scream in agony, beg her for mercy. And she would look at her, laughing, denying her a glorious reign by her father’s side. She would stand proud and victorious over her precious body.

She wanted to see her aunties’ despair as they found her lifeless body the next morning. Hilda’s tears. Zelda’s rage — if she ever came back from the Limbo, that is.

She wanted to cause pain and chaos. Spill blood. She wanted revenge.

Lilith braced herself, anger boiling in her veins. With a twist of her wrist, she conjured a knife and looked at her reflexion in the silvery material. This was the face of a woman who was about to get everything she had ever desired. This was the face of a winner. And the first woman smiled, her heart swelling in her chest.

But then Sabrina frowned in her sleep, a worried line drawing itself on her forehead. And Lilith found herself wondering what kind of bad dreams were bothering her blissful sleep. The young woman sighed, and pulled the blanket closer to her, as if she was trying to shield herself from a threat. Lilith’s features softened, if only for a moment. And then she remembered her rage, her anger, consuming every inch of her body and soul. She drew the knife closer to her throat.

She wanted to cut the pale skin and draw blood. She wanted Sabrina dead. And she tried to hold on to that hatred. But then, she looked at Sabrina’s face and she thought of those moments they had spent together. Those moments where she had mentored her, cared for her, saved her. The gratefulness in the witches’ eyes, and her undying trust in her. She had looked up to her, confided her fears, her hopes in her. She remembered watching Sabrina perform a spell, fall in love and succeed in everything she tried and the pride she had felt in those moments. She remembered finding her crying, sitting on her bed, and comforting her the best way she could. A foreign feeling overtook her heart. Something she hadn’t felt in a long time. And she hated it. Perhaps, even more than she hated Sabrina.

Lilith sighed, the knife still in place but her hand was shaking. Accidentally, her mouvement caused the knife to graze the white skin, and cut slightly her throat. A droplet of blood escaped, and rolled down to die on the sheets. Lilith stood there, frozen, incapable of feeling any kind of happiness from the sight of her ennemi bleeding in front of her. Instead, regret, fear invaded her mind, incapacitated her limbs.

A single tear escaped from her eyes, as she healed the wound with a snap of her fingers.

She hated herself for it, but she had come to realize that she could never hurt Sabrina. Not intentionally. She could never slit her throat, curse her or suffocate her with a pillow. There was a time she would have. But not now. Not anymore. She could never kill Sabrina, no matter how much she wanted her gone. Her absence would leave a void in her heart — a void she had never known how to fill. Because Sabrina had taken so much from her, but she had also given her more than she had ever hoped for. 

She couldn’t. And her shoulders lowered in defeat, her head bowed down in shame.

She was pitiful.

And the knife fell on the ground with a clatter. Sabrina jolted awake, her brown eyes staring at her in confusion. Lilith did her best to erase the single tears from her cheek.

"Lilith? What are you doing here? Are you alright?" Sabrina mumbled, half-asleep.

Her eyes widened, searching the room for a threat. Lilith chuckled, running a hand through the girl’s soft locks in a soothing gesture. 

"Don’t worry, Sabrina. I just wanted to make sure you were all right. You can go back to sleep now." She whispered sweetly.

It was a lie — of course it was a lie. But she couldn’t bring herself to tell the truth, she barely managed to admit it herself. No, she better let the girl drift back to unconsciousness.

Sabrina nodded, obviously too tired to say anything else, and propped back into her bed. She closed her eyes and relaxed, not bothered the slightest by the demoness’ presence by her side. Perhaps she had grown accustomed to it, and that thought alone made Lilith’s heart tremble. She didn’t mind her here. She trusted her. And at that moment, Lilith decided that she had made the right choice.

And the first woman bent in front of a child she loved like her own, and pressed her lips on her forehead.

"Sleep well, darling girl." She whispered, unsure whether Sabrina had heard it or not.

Either way, it didn’t matter. Nothing really mattered. And she remained by the witch’s side for the entire night, crying silently over her own weakness, her hand on top of her stomach.

Blaming herself for the mistakes she had made. The people she had trusted. Wishing she could have rebelled against the Dark Lord sooner. Dreaming that she had met the Spellmans, and gained their trust in time.

She spent the night feeling disgusted with her own behavior. 

And he came to the conclusion that Sabrina was not to blame. 

She was.

She had failed.

This was her fault, and hers alone.

Her burden.

And as the storm passed, and the first light entered the peaceful room, Lilith looked upon Sabrina Spellman’s peaceful form, a sad smile painted on her lips. It was almost time to join Lucifer, and her heart was filled with dread. Deep down, part of her hoped that Sabrina would join them soon. Perhaps, then, she wouldn’t be alone.

 _Sabrina_.

She hated her.

Oh — But how she loved her.

  
  



End file.
